You know you're in trouble when...

Some basic rules of survival for being the bad guy in a film;

1. Don't ever touch / maim / kill the hero, heroine, members of their family or friends. Ever. It will almost certainly lead to painful torture and / or death.

2. Always make sure you're henchmen have an I.Q. over 100 and a capacity to think for themselves. This should include investigating that strange noise from the shadows in teams.

3. When escaping after your diabolic scheme to rule the world has gone pear-shaped, ensure that your preferred means of escape is fueled and ready to depart.

4. If your scheme involves time-travel and / or parallel worlds, always factor in that the machine could develop an unpleasant fault such as cloning the hero or removing your existence from the time line.

5. Should any of your limbs be replaced with prosthetics, try to make them impervious to damage or at least easy to remove in an emergency.

6. Wearing some form of body-armour or other suitable clothing should ensure that you remain whole and without any bullet holes. That tropical suit might look classy, but without many pockets can leave you defenceless.

Remembering these basic rules can lead to a long and happy life without being in prison, preferably with your original limbs. On a side note, if you do happen to hurt the hero's family make sure that you have someone to take the fall for it or preferably ensure that the hero never finds out.

Try to remember that a calm and rational hero will not personally hunt you to the ends of the Earth for killing his girlfriend. Should all else fail, devise a simple means of suicide; it will be far less painful than whatever the hero can imagine for your fate.

till next time,

Alex.

By the light of a dying Star

This is one of the many times in my life where I'm thankful for my education. The ability to spell correctly and without resorting to using 'mobile' or 'txt' speak is one I'm particularly grateful for.

I might not have been thankful at the time, but studying at the local Grammar School evidently served me better than I realised. This is especially true of my A-Level qualifications; without them I wouldn't have been able to read a university degree. I gained an understanding of why things happen, such as why an airtight plastic bottle will collapse on itself when put in the fridge. Perhaps not the best example to show for studying two years of A-Level Physics but easier than working out the latent heat of fusion.

It is unlikely that I will ever stop learning or being a student. There is still much in this world that I don't know and probably will never know. As with so much in life, there will always be someone who knows more about a subject than you could possibly imagine. If anyone is unsure about that, just think about a martial arts discipline. Just because someone is younger than you, it doesn't mean they don't deserve your respect.

Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy.

Alex.

You know my name

Nothing quite like a good Bond film to while away an evening. Many critics have shot Daniel Craig down for trying to be the suave and sophisticated 007. Does he have what it takes to be Mr Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang?

In a word, yes. Now before everyone starts jumping down my throat for that, let me say this. I really don't care what others think, it only matters to me what I like or dislike.

As it stands, just about everyone knew what was going to happen almost before it happened. Bond stops the evil criminal and saves the world or, in this case, wins the game and causes the bad guy to be shot by his own side.

No gadgets this time, no flashy Aston Martins with lethal accessories. It is back to Bond before the gadgets from Q and then waiting for the rest of the film for him to use them. Not that I mind, but a few did push the limits of what is achievable (e.g. invisible Vanquish from 'Die Another Day').

Judi Dench as M is worth seeing, if for no other reason to try and put the newly promoted double-oh in his place.

M: I knew it was too early to promote you.
James Bond: Well, I understand double-ohs have a very short life expectancy. So your mistake will be short-lived.

If you've not yet had the opportunity to go and see 'Casino Royale', it's worth seeing if for nothing more than the action sequences and one liners. There are plenty of cutting one liners scattered throughout the film, more than a few having a subtle dig at previous films.

[Bond orders a Dry Martini]
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

Perhaps somewhat amusing is La Chiffre's reaction to the other poker players ordering the same drink Bond has just 'invented'.

Le Chiffre: [annoyed] That's it? Hm? Anyone want to play poker now?
Felix Leiter: Someone's in a hurry.

The closing sequence ends the film in suitable style. The bad guy is bleeding from a leg wound after being shot, looks up at Bond and asks who he is.

James Bond: The name's Bond... James Bond.

till next time,

Alex.

This is the Only, give me the Only thing

Cannon to the left of them, cannon to the right of them,
cannon in front of them!

Watching my beloved Tau units assault the teeth of a Necron stronghold, the XV-88 "Broadside" units opened fire. These units are essentially a pair of rail guns on legs and are quite capable of demolishing just about anything. What I hadn't counted on was the appearance of several units of Necron warriors making scrap metal out of most of my assault units.

The most basic squad of Necron's is perfectly capable of wiping the floor with most other basic units from other races. Admittedly I'm talking about the most basic troop units and not some of the more capable assault units (e.g. Eldar Warp Spiders) and without any form of fire-support (e.g. vehicles or artillery). Thankfully, the Necron's only have one major vehicle available: the Awakened Monolith. Unfortunately it can decimate anything foolish enough to go remotely near it.

So far, the easiest way to wreck a Necron army? Tanks, lots and lots of tanks and artillery. Playing Eldar this means as many Fire Prisms as I can get with my Vehicle Cap. For other armies, building numerous smaller tanks is more advisable than a single large one (e.g. BaneBlade super heavy). Whilst they have more health than a smaller tank, they tend to attract more attention due to their physical size and psychological impact.

This is especially true of the units that require a captured relic to build. It is a truly inspiring sight to see the mighty Avatar of Khaine walking through an enemy stronghold and laying waste to anything that moves. The same can be said of the Khorne Bloodthirster and the Squiggoth. I found that the Baneblade needs close support or infantry and get close and wreck it in short order.

Oh well, en masse Fire Prisms it is then.

For the Craftworld!

Alex.

Not so innocent anymore.

The world has turned once more and a new day has begun. Dreams fade to grey, nightmares collapse back into oblivion. Few have the courage to stand up for their beliefs, fewer still can acknowledge their true natures.

We all wear masks and hide our less than desirable characteristics. On how many occasions have you hidden that which could be considered dark or twisted? It still amuses me to see the look on people's faces when I inform them of my taste in music; innocent-looking young guy rocking out to the sounds of Limp Bizkitt and Marylin Manson.

Dreams can be a double-edged sword; something that you truly desire, but cannot yet have. Remember my earlier comment about being less than innocent? Thankfully no one has yet invented a method of reading dreams from the human brain and my desires are hidden from the world. They're not particularly sick or twisted, although the legality of some of the GTA-inspired dreams might be questionable.

Appearances can be deceiving and not everything is as it seems.

till next time,

Alex.

And now for something completely different...

Of all the places in the world, why, oh why, did it have to be in Sainsbury's? Fear not, this isn't the end of the world. For the first time in my life, I have actually seen a girl that is nearly my height.

What do you mean 'so what'? In case you are one of the few who don't know me all that well, I'm 6' 4" (193 cm) without shoes. I found myself thinking that I might stand a chance of actually meeting a girl friend vaguely near my height. If not, I can dream, can't I?

It's not like I'm lonely in the classic definition of the word; I have friends, just no one to really love. Don't look at me like that! I'm not going soft, I was soft to start with, appearances to the contrary.

This reminds me of an earlier post and the best ways of meeting that certain someone. Go to a pub and watch everyone get drunk? Nope, inebriation is not particularly attractive thank you. A night club? Similar to the pub only any chance at actually talking to someone is shot to pieces by the 'music'.

Ah well, looks like I'm going to be single a little while longer yet.

till next time,

Alex.

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

"Welcome to the World of Work. Please leave all braincells at home and the management accept no responsibility for loss of life, limb or soul."

It's a shame that no one had thought to create such a sign for use in schools. Mind you, this would merely increase the chances that all those lacking in brains or at least common sense apply. Not for the first time I'm thankful that I'm at least moderately intelligent, though working part-time as a shop assistant was soul-draining at times. On a side note, if you haven't read "Valentine's Day", my little fiction in progress, I suggest you do.

For those of you not in the know, I'm attempting to find a job. Note that I have said attempting; you would think being young with little or no experience and willing to work for peanuts would make me employable.

Hah. With knobs on.

I do take some comfort in my abilities, I can still code a fairly basic website and the odd VB.Net program. The multitude of adverts offering IT training are somewhat annoying; they can train you, but they can't actually guarantee you'll get a job at the end of it.

If anyone is in need to tech support who might have a clue as to how to fix a computer without resorting to a can of compressed air or a format of the hard drive, feel free to drop me an email at the usual suspects.

till next time,

Alex.

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request... Means "no."

Yes, alright I've been watching Pirates of the Caribbean again. What? Don't look at me like that, it's an amusing film and I needed to do something to take my mind off going to see Casino Royale in a few days. The reviewers all like it despite the lack of Q and Miss Moneypenny.

Hopefully my copy of Dead Man's Chest will be arriving soon, I think I'm starting to wear out my DVD of Curse of the Black Pearl. The PS3 has finally been released in the U.S., whilst us Europeans have to wait till next March. What possible reason can they have for it? It will merely drive import sales that Sony are trying to stop. You would think they would have learned from the release of the PSP, but no.

Ah well, by March they should have also cleaned any remaining faults and ironed out the bugs. Sometimes there are distinct advantages in waiting.

till next time,

Alex.

The 11th Hour of the 11th Day

I was once asked why I remembered Armistice Day (11th November) and why it affected me so. My answer was simple. It signified the end of the First World War and the deaths of so many young men, not unlike myself. It could be called living in the past. Anyone using that argument is met with the following;

George Santayana: Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it.

War is an ugly thing, it cares little for honour or humanity. Over sixty years ago Hitler decided to 'purify' the human race and killed millions because they did not meet his standards. Men from all walks of life, every colour and creed, stepped forward and fought back. Many men died fighting to protect what they believed in. Today it is not so different; men and women take up arms for their country.

Plato said "Only the dead have seen the end of war." That might be an unfortunate truth, but as long as our way of life is threatened, we will still fight. On the 11th, stop and take the time to reflect on times past. I was born 23 years ago on the 11th day of the 11th month, a happy event on one of our darkest days from history.

for the few, those courageous few,

Alex.

What can men do against such reckless hate?

I'm not a vengeful man or even a hateful one. Although according to one guy I'm a complete c**k. How nice, just the sort of thing to convince me that mankind isn't going to collapse into anarchy one day.

The reason for this? I merely pointed at him whilst he was driving past me and using his mobile. For those of you who don't know, this isn't merely a bad idea but it is also illegal in the UK. So I get called names for noticing he was breaking the law, marvelous. As I said at the beginning I'm not vengeful but I really hoped he has a nasty accident.

Two days left till my birthday and it doesn't look like I'm going to be doing all that much. If anyone has any (sensible) ideas, let me know.

till next time,

Alex.

The only question remains: will you yeild, in time?

The above quote was taken from the trailer of the new James Bond film Casino Royale. If the villain of the film asks Bond that, you know that he is not going to simply roll over and die.

James Bond started out as a fictional character but has come to represent the stereotypical Englishman. Impeccable taste and world-class charm have become his trademark. I will admit to having emulated him once; playing BlackJack wearing a bow-tie and tux whilst drinking Vodka-Martinis.

Ok, so the story lines are perhaps not the most believable in the world, but as I have said before, that's not important. Escaping from the reality of life for an hour or two or imaging for a few moments that you too could be Bond, James Bond. We might not all be able to afford an Aston Martin or spend big at the Casinos, but that doesn't mean you can't dream.

Set to be one of the biggest and most-hyped film releases of the year, let's hope that it lives up to it's promises.

till next time,

Alex.