Four down, five to go

As of today, four assignments have been completed and an initial mark returned for each one. Currently I have an average of 72% (65%, 69%, 74% and 81%). This is barely a 1st class degree classification, more likely a 2:1.

With the way things stand, I would be pleased to get a degree of any sort; I will have achieved something with my time spent at University.

Unfortunately, while four assignments have been completed, I have five more to hand in at various dates over the next month and a half. This includes the Individual Study or Dissertation and it is worth a large chunk of the final year (1/4 if I remember correctly).

My personal life is somewhat the same, though I have started a cyber-relationship I suppose you could call it, so it could not be called empty.

Life moves on, for better or for worse? Only time will tell,

Alex.

A new year

Two steps forward, one step back.

In upgrading my linux pc, I managed to seriously make a mess of things. Fortunately, normal service has now been resumed with a few minor technical glitches. On the plus side my system no longer grinds to a halt when trying to use usb storage devices.

A week or so in to the new year and it seems pretty much like last year, just in a different location. The months are starting to dwindle before my final year exams. More confident than last time as there are fewer unknowns. Who knows? I might find someone that is interested in me.

Alex.

Once more, with feeling

Well, here we are again. Things have progressed a little since my last post. I'm back at university, have a new car (Peugeot 307cc) and finding things are pretty much the same.

My 25th birthday came and went with little fanfare. I don't suddenly feel older; I have always had a very old soul. As usual my friends wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate, which would have meant that I would have had to drive. Nice idea, somewhat lacking in the execution and level of thoughtfulness.

The university is still quite disorganised, although the lecturers are finally making their lectures available on the Blackboard system and can keep sending me emails about tuition fees. They still want to give us assignments that are due in the same week as each other. Not including my individual study, I have two assignments due in a day apart.

I'm still single and that's not likely to change any time soon. It's times like these that I regret leaving America and I can't help but wonder how different my life would be. This time last year I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my girlfriend and her family. So many friends I made, when I was out there, most of whom I will probably never talk to again.

On the plus side, my appetite has improved; the cold weather is making me burn more energy trying to keep warm. I have discovered the joys of high-definition content. Even at 720p the quality and detail looks amazing. My current PC as it stands can just about play it, though it can't handle read / write to the same disk (no torrent downloads / video playing on the same disk).

Let's hope things are different when I write my next post.

Alex.

Catharsis

It has been almost a year since my last post to this blog. There have been ups and downs, laughs and tears. Three months into the new year and I am back to where I started once more.

My health is much improved than this time last year, although I'm am still no where near what I would call fit. Once more I am home alone on a Saturday night with nothing better to do than write to my heart's content.

I'm fairly certain my friends have, for reasons unknown, decided to go out drinking without me. Well, to be accurate, I know they were planning on going out drinking. Whether they decided to exclude me is where my uncertainty lies. Whilst I'm fairly quiet and don't drink all that much, it would have been nice to at least been asked and therefore thought of. So instead, here I am listening to music, writing on my blog and adding new material to my fiction.

It is somewhat disheartening to think I made more friends in the three months I spent in the US than I have done in any other part of my life.

That trip abroad has left me with wanderlust and a desire to see a little more of the world. Now would be a good time to do it, as I will be returning to University in the autumn. The question remains; should I spend the money and live a little or spend the time brushing up on my skills?

My heart says live for the moment, but my head says otherwise. The knowledge I once held has deteriorated somewhat and will need work before I return to academia. There is plenty of work that can be done before then and some hard choices needed to be made concerning the subject options available to me.

Alex.

Online Dating

As I mentioned a while back, I thought I'd try my hand at online dating. After eventually plucking up the courage to email a girl, with whom I thought might share a few interests, I wrote an email.

Nothing too serious, or threatening, followed a couple of guidelines posted on the website's forum and waited for a reply. Considering I'd written a couple of paragraphs I was hopeful that I'd get one. It came about an hour or so later. She deleted the email and removed herself from my favorites list; something I wasn't aware you could do, but I digress. Her response wasn't quite what I imagined. It is written verbatim below:

"yeah, whatever weirdo."

I might be feeling just a touch cynical right now, if not downright crushed. A polite, 'sorry, you're not my type' would have been nicer, but apparently common decency these days in on the decline. Mind you, I should also say that this is a minor improvement; the first two women I emailed read the messages but didn't bother replying.

In case you're wondering why I'm bothering trying online dating, it's simple; I'm lonely. There's no point in trying to call it anything else, it's just a sad fact. Oh well, it appears that I'm going to be single for quite some time.

Alex.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......

No, seriously. It's not the best name they ever came up with for a console, but it certainly plays well, mostly. I finally had the opportunity to have a quick blast on Nintendo's newest creation; the Wii (thanks Dave!).

Some of the games work really well, the bundled Wii Sports is a good showcase for what the controller can do when utilised properly. Equally, Zelda: Twilight Princess was great fun and graphically the best so far. Unfortunately, some games such as Red Steel aren't so good. What might seem like a good idea on paper doesn't always translate to a game so well.

If you've not already got a GameCube or one of the older Nintendo systems (N64 especially) then it would be worth it just to be able to play the entire back catalogue of games. As it is, the games are a little hit and miss as I've mentioned. Personally, I'm going to buy one just to play Zelda and Smash Bros. when it comes out in a few months.

This all came about when a good friend of mine, Dave, who I hadn't seen in a while called me. I'll be the first to admit that I hadn't been a good a friend as I could have been when he phoned. The reason for his call? His main gaming PC had finally given up the ghost after the best part of four years hardcore gaming and he wanted my advice on what to buy and value for money.

With any luck, the PC rig he buys will last just as long as his old one, if not longer. I had given some thought to updating my gaming rig, although I don't play computer games as much as I used to. Did feel all nostalgic for a while, thinking back to trying to get my old PC to run C&C: Red Alert. Ah well.

till next time,

Alex.

No one ever expects...

To find a large bird of prey in their garden. Lunchtime yesterday, I spotted a large bird in the garden, clutching a (hopefully) dead pigeon in it's claws. My Guide to Local Birds identified it as an adult female Sparrowhawk. Definitely not something you see everyday.

It then proceeded to pluck and eat the pigeon. I have ever only seen something like this on a nature program. Fortunately, I also managed to take some video footage of it as well.

A singularly beautiful creature, despite the fact my dear mother couldn't believe what it was going to do with the pigeon.

till next time,

Alex.

Doing the unthinkable

No, don't panic. I haven't gone off the deep end, at least, not yet anyway. In my earlier post, I reasoned ways of finding a girlfriend. To this end I reasoned that anyone I might meet in a pub or club is likely to be drunk at best, drugged at worse. Thus, it comes to this: I have joined an online dating site. Before anyone asks, no I won't tell you which one.

It probably won't lead to anything, given my luck these days, although of course there is always hope. Though it might be called an act of desperation, I see it as an exercise in bettering myself. If nothing else, it might extend the number of people I can call a friend.

On a different note, I'm currently waiting to hear from the Japanese Consulate about the details of a working-holiday visa. If I'm refused for whatever reason, I will be taking a holiday there for a couple of weeks. Should I be successful, I will be staying in Japan for anything from a few weeks to nearly a year.

till next time,

Alex.

St. Valentine's Day

Where on Earth has the time gone? According to Blogger, it has been close to three weeks since my last post. It's not like I'm busy working or fighting evil in my spare time. I could try and blame it on attempting to finish a Final Fantasy game before the next one is released on the 23^rd.

It's St.Valentine's Day. I'm over-joyed at the prospect of being sent cute, heart-filled cards. This is my Sarcastic Remark of the Day™. In case you hadn't already guessed I'm a little bitter about today as no one has sent me anything before and the trend has been continued this year. Ah well, with any luck I won't be here this time next year; I'll be in Japan instead.

I'm currently working on completing Final Fantasy VIII (8) and reached disc 3 of 4. It's still a great game, even if it's the best part of 8 or more years old. The graphics might not be the latest, but that's not the point; I like playing it. Few things scare me when playing Final Fantasy games, namely Tonberries and Marlboros.

If you've ever played a Final Fantasy game, you will know what a pain these two monsters are. Tonberries will hit one character with a move called "Everyone's Grudge" which does damage equal to a multiple of the numbers of monsters that character has killed. Once the Tonberry has walked across the battlefield, it will then instantly kill one character at a time. To make them even more fun they have a stupid amount of hit-points (FF8's Tonberry has around 21k).

Marlboros. It's enough to make grown men weep if they haven't got the correct items or status-protections. "Bad Breath" not only causes most status ailments (blind, mute, confuse, poison, etc) it does large amounts of damage. In the unlikely event that your characters survive, your only option is to hope they haven't been hit with berserk status and can use items to cure them.

Fortunately I haven't met any in FF8 yet, although I will at some point if I want to upgrade some of my characters weapons. Unlike in Final Fantasy VII (7), the 'Ribbon' item no longer exists. Previously it gave one character complete immunity to all status ailments. Actually this is not completely true, 'Ribbon's can be obtained using a PocketStation™ and completing the ChocoboWorld mini-game.

Wish me luck, I only have a week on Friday before FF12 is released. Till next time,

Alex.

RPG Silliness

As usual I try to keep abreast of the latest happenings in the world of the PSP and read PSP Updates every couple of days. One of the articles I read gave me fond memories of playing Diablo II and some of the games more unusual 'features'.

Killing a monster rewards you in a couple of ways; you get character experience, sometimes gold or the odd item. Fair enough, you would think. Except, why would a monster have gold or be carrying an item in the first place? The article on PSP Updates (Loot-drop paradoxes) has an amusing reference to the slaying of a dragon in World of Warcraft (WoW):

Warrior: And with this last arrow I kill you.
Dragon: Hang on a sec. Let me bottle up my blood first. You got a needle and tube handy?

Game developers go to a lot of trouble to make the game world believable only to make mistakes such as this. Of course the dragon could merely be carrying dragon's blood in a bottle, though it would raise the question as to where it obtained it and why it would be carrying it.

Battling in the Lord of Destruction expansion pack proved amusing as the number of small fliers that dropped either a very large weapon or full-plate armour was quite frequent. It begs the question as to why a mosquito would be carrying a potion in a bottle. Ah well.

till next time,

Alex.

The Triforce of Courage

The series of Zelda games is nearly as old as I am. From humble beginnings way back on the NES (Famicom) to the glory that is Twilight Princess on the Wii.

I have played some of the Zelda series on various different platforms and even own an original gold-coloured 'The Legend of Zelda' for the NES. My favourite has to be The Ocarina of Time. It just did so many things well and like all first-party Nintendo games, it was well produced.

The difficulty curve was set at a leisurely pace and dungeons got progressively more difficult without sudden jumps. Puzzles could be solved with some careful planning and you were often rewarded for exploring.

Admittedly the only purpose of the mini-games was to obtain heart-pieces, but they were fun to play and even a little silly (setting off bomb-chus in Ocarina of Time for one). I don't think I ever found all the heart-pieces in any of the Zelda games so far and I doubt I will without following a written guide.

If you've never played a Zelda game before then you have seriously missed out on one of the best game series. I rank it amongst Metal Gear Solid and Final Fantasy for originality. You almost invariably start off as a young boy from a little village and before long you are sent off on an epic quest to save your girl-friend (who often turns out to be a princess), your village or the entire world.

Battle the forces of evil with nothing more than a sword, shield and (if you're lucky) a bottle of milk or a fairy. Of course the games have introduced us to many varied and wonderful friends along the way. From the mighty Big-Goron to the most timid deku scrub, they all have something worthwhile to contribute to your quest. Helping people always has its benefits such as empty bottles, bigger equipment bags and in one case a hug from malon (Talon's daughter) for protecting her!

As many tearful encounters await you as joyful ones. The death of the Great Deku Tree was perhaps one of the saddest moments in video game history with the only exception being the death of Aeris in Final Fantasy VII. Vanquishing the evil Ganondorf and saving Hyrule is always one of the better moments.

Got some spare time? Pick up an old Nintendo64, a copy of 'The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time', you won't be disappointed.

Alex.

She really ought to learn when to shut the f*ck up

I apologise for the vulgarity in the title above, but I'm in a seriously annoyed mood. If you've read my last post, then you don't get any reward for guessing who I'm referring to. In case you're unsure as to precisely who has seriously annoyed me, it's one Jade Goody.

She was apparently unaware of the furore her actions have caused in the outside world. Watching some of her interview immediately after her eviction made me wonder exactly how intelligent she thought she was being in trying to explain and even justify what she had done.

After a few minutes I switched off as the things she was saying sounded like utter tripe. To paraphrase one particular part "she hoped that [Shilpa Shetty] didn't hear what [they] were talking about." How incompetent can she be? She is in an environment that is under 24 hour surveillance, how did she think that her words wouldn't be heard by the public? She seemed to think that if Shetty hadn't heard her and others talking about her, then it was perfectly acceptable.

Several news sites, newspapers and television news programmes have been discussing Goody's actions and what may happen now that she is no longer on Big Brother (BB). Many of them have stated that Goody has caused an international incident and I find that I am in agreement with them.

I doubt that Goody will be expecting the reaction she is about to receive; she even tried to apologise by saying "she didn't mean nothing." Shetty, meanwhile, did accept Goody's apology immediately before Goody was evicted and was more gracious than I would have been in similar circumstances.

Hopefully the eviction of Goody will force the other house-mates to treat Shetty with the respect she deserves, although only time will tell.

till next time,

Alex.

The 50th Post

You read that correctly folks; this is the 50^th post on my blog. Though the regularity of my posts has occasionally been a little patchy, I have stuck with it and hopefully raised some thought-provoking ideas.

For those of you who have been keeping track of the news this last week will have seen the events unfolding within The Most Talked About House in the UK^TM; Celebrity Brig Brother. As my friends can attest, I'm not a big fan of reality television and especially not of Big Brother (BB) in any form.

It appears that I'm not alone in my dislike of BB as approximately 20k people have sent complaints in concerning the abuse of one house-mate; Shilpa Shetty. She is a well-known Bollywood actress and has been subject to racial comments from three of her fellow house-mates.

I have only heard about some of the comments made second or even third-hand. What little I've read makes my blood run cold. No one deserves to be treated in such a manner and quite rightly a fair few people have said so to Channel 4 and Endemol (broadcasters and producers of the show respectively). The number I quoted earlier will continue to rise and has already made one of the shows sponsors, Carphone Warehouse, withdraw their support with immediate effect.

To illustrate this is, as far as I'm aware, an unprecedented move by Carphone Warehouse. One which will make others take a breathless step back and consider their involvement in the show.

If this is not backlash enough, news has spread back to Shetty's home country of India. Demonstrations have already taken place and several questions relating to this have been asked of Gordon Brown (Chancellor of the Exchequer). That has caused questions to be raised in parliament, something not take lightly.

I said my blood ran cold at hearing this. In our modern, well-adjusted society, it appears that racism isn't dead yet. I'm not so naive to think that racism doesn't exist, but I do think that people would have learned by now not to air such thoughts in public; let alone on national television.

The three house-mates involved in verbally attacking Shetty are going to be in serious trouble once the show has finished, if it's not cancelled or they are removed first. I find it unlikely that the three will find much employment and relations between the U.K and India will be frosty for quite some time.

Unless Channel 4 or Endemol take action they could be faced with serious reprisals.

Alex.

Dreaming a little dream of you

For the first time in quite some time, I actually had a memorable dream. I can already hear the "so what?"s in the back, but for me this is something interesting.

Whilst I'm fairly sure that I have dreams, this is the first one that I remember after being awake for most of the day. Also before anyone asks, no I haven't been taking any mind-altering chemicals or non-prescription drugs unless you count Insulin.

I could theorise as to what the cause of my dreams from now till the end of my life and probably be no closer. So instead of dealing with why I had the dream, I'll write about what actually happened.

It concerned a woman. Nothing unusual there you might think, I'm a man and it is virtually expected. What if I said the woman was a fictional character from a well-known television series. Questioning my sanity yet?

If you're still unsure, I will explain a little further. The character in question is Abby Scuito (played by Pauley Perrette) from the series "N.C.I.S". Again nothing wrong with that. Very well, last and most vital point. Abby is a goth.

This raises an obvious question and the whole point of this little diatribe; do I like goths or merely the idea of goths in particular? Perrette is, to me at least, an attractive woman whether a goth or not. However, this raises another interesting question.

Do clothes define the woman or are they merely an assumed character? I'm delving into the realms of philosophy here and pretty far in over my head. I have absolutely no idea as to how an actress such as Perrette behaves out of costume.

To make assumptions on someones character with no references other than their appearance could lead to large misunderstandings to say the least. In your experience have you found this to be true? Do the nice, innocent-looking ones turn out to be evil as sin?

till next time,

Alex.

Standing on the Edge of Tomorrow

Another week has flown by with little chance for reflection. As no one seems to be too keen to employ me, I think it's high time I did Something Drastic.

I'm not talking about ending it all or equally as foolish. No, my plan was to travel further than I have before and fly to Japan. This brings me to an interesting decision. Do I go for two weeks with a fixed ticket or take the plunge and travel with an open ticket and return when I want to?

My family would be much happier if I went for a short time and came back quickly. I say that this is likely to be my only chance until I have earned enough money or vacation to do so. Traveling around the entirety of Japan, maybe continuing this blog and adding photos as I go sounds like an adventure to me.

What say you?

Alex.

On the wings of Furies

The most complex of human emotions cannot be defined in the course a single discussion. If you have never experienced it then it is unlikely that you will grasp what it means to be in love. Many, many people have tried over the course of human history to explain the concept have love and thus far few have come close.

It is an unpleasant feeling to know the one you love does not, or appears to not, return them. I have been in that unenviable position at least once. It doesn't get any easier but the ache eventually fades.

A good friend of mine is in the middle of experiencing this. If he's reading this and I hope he is, I can only repeat what I said; it is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. You cannot ignore the feelings you have, only learn to cope with them as best you can.

We're all human after all and without emotions, especially love, we would be less than we could be.

Alex.

The Founding of Singularity

The oh-so clichéd concept of a singles club. In one of my more complex dreams, I created the club 'Singularity'. It's purpose was to get people like myself, single and fairly 'geeky', out and meet others. Not a bad idea, until I realised it would be full of young, single men.

I have considered creating a few t-shirt designs based on this idea, if for no other reason than to create a talk-point. It's nice to dream. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.

One of the more amusing pieces of news recently; Sony have started supporting playing PS1 (PSX) games on the PSP. This is excellent news for those of us waiting to play the classic Final Fantasy games on our favourite hand-held. It gets better, Dark_Alex (no relation) has created another custom firmware that allows PSP users to use the latest firmware (3.03) and to play home brew (read game game backups).

This is tremendous as I can finally play FFVII and FFVIII on my PSP. Admittedly this will involve buying a new, larger memory stick in order to be able to carry the iso's needed, but I think it will be worth it until SqaureEnix / Sony get their act together and officially release them. In short, a great start for PSP gamers everywhere.

till next time,

Alex.

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

It very nearly didn't happen. Apparently voted the Uk's favourite comedy film of all time, I would have to agree.

Shown tonight on Channel 4, Monty Python's 'The Life of Brian' was banned in some cinemas on release nearly thirty years ago. The documentary before the film is quite enlightening and can show what happens when people take life just a little too seriously.

Supposedly a mockery of the Life of Jesus, it managed to offend nearly every major religious group in some form or other. My view on it is slightly different; if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? Somewhat simplistic perhaps, but an important point of view.

It is an intelligent and superbly written film, one that hasn't aged in the slightest and is as relevant today as it was on release. If you haven't seen it, I strongly suggest you obtain a copy.

till next time,

Alex.

Because I could.

A man was once asked why he climbed the highest mountain in the world, Everest. His answer has proven to be one of the simplest and yet profound I know; because it's there.

Why do we do the things we do? It is our nature to do things that defy all conscious decision and logical reasoning. No one has yet been able to completely explain the why, but certainly many theories exist.

Emotion is perhaps one of the strongest motivators of human behavior. A simple example being the extreme lengths people will go to save a child from danger, even those that are not related to them. Love can make people do strange things and act irrationally. I know, Ive done some weird things myself for someone I truly care about.

Life is too short to spend the time pondering the reasons why we do the things we do. It is better to spent the time enjoying life, rather than analyse ever last detail. I leave such thinking to persons more intelligent and academic than myself.

Live life to the full and without regrets.

Alex.

The Best laid Plans of Mice and Men.

For those of you who answered "what have men got to do with it?", you have earned my True Geek award for quoting 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. The reason for this title is going to be more relevant to those who know what I had been planning.

On the 31^st of December, it will be my parent's 25^th wedding anniversary; Silver anniversary. It was my intentions to either send them off on a short break somewhere or to organise a get-together of all their friends.

The latter proved too difficult to achieve and I was thus left with the former; a short break. Fortunately, London is not too far away and will hopefully prove an enjoyable experience. I have organised tickets to see 'The Lion King' at the Lyceum Theater followed by a night at the Radisson Edwardian Marlborough. Rail travel was provided at cost by the travel company.

The rail tickets do not specify when, only which days, so a full two days in London is not impossible. They know that something is happening on the 6^th and 7^th but as of today they don't know exactly what. If they ask why I will simply give them a similar answer as to why a man would climb Everest; because I can.

Merry Christmas, everyone

Alex.